I Was Told There'd Be Cake by Sloane Crosley


My rating: 2 of 5 stars

The author is a jaded, young New Yorker in the publishing biz. If this sounds like regurgitated phlegm from scads of previously published short story compilations, you would be correct.

The stories are amusing, if not harsh. I would think its categorization as "essays" might be a stretch; more "faction" a la "In Cold Blood" with an only slightly less morbid backdrop?

I recommend this book be read story by story, in between other books. If read altogether (as I did, for book club), you may find yourself spouting truly nasty verbiage, unintentionally. (Her 'tude really rubbed off on me!)

Her humor is base, gruff, but ultimately amusing.


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Propeller One-Way Night Coach: A Story by John Travolta

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

Yes, the John Travolta. That's why I picked it up ... at a used bookstore in Minnesota.

He apparently wrote this for his family, as a sort of gift. They loved it so much, he decided to "share it with the world."

As a gift, I suppose it's quite cute.

As a published work, it falls very short.

I think in his sharing, he should have allowed an editor to have at it. He's obviously not a writer. Or anything remotely resembling one.

Super-short little story about a boy who loves flying. His mother is a wanna-be actress who loves sleeping with married men. Wee.

It's billed as a fairy tale for all ages. I would disagree.

Didn't hate it. Didn't love it. Worth the $1, I suppose ;)

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The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson


My rating: 3 of 5 stars
This is the quintessential thriller. Decent twists, but not a wholly surprising ending (for me).

My major complaint is that Stieg Larsson offers up too much detail. Apparently he doesn't trust his readers' ability to visualize, b/c he details down to the tiniest minutiae. You think, "I must need this information later." But you don't. My advice? Skim all the room descriptions. You'll enjoy the book far more!

I found the use of a seemingly autistic/Asperger's-afflicted detective charming and jarring ... and pleasantly outside the norm. However, I didn't find this character likable in the least. For what it's worth, my book club loved it, and most are continuing on with his 2nd book, which apparently follows Liz (aforementioned character) through her past?

If you enjoy crime/mystery/thriller genres, you'd likely quite enjoy this book. It's a "NYT" bestseller.

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I am an avid pet owner as opposed to pet parent. I love my pets. Very much. I would do everything possible to ensure their survival and happiness.

But they are my pets and not my children. They do not require daycare or diapers or college funds ... or even variation in meals.

So why, given my personal distinction, do I suddenly find myself in possession of a dog sweater? It's as if the thing just jumped off the rack into my basket!

And why, for the love of jelly donuts, am I actually contemplating taking Tasslehoff to a friend's Christmas party??

Ok ... that last one really does have a reason. It's b/c of the logistics of making a 2-hour trip just to walk him. ... but still ...?

This is so odd. I must consult with Olive ... WHO, btw, has started letting Tass lick her head in the a.m. Funniest thing EVAR! I mean, his tongue is the size of her entire noggin' *LOl*

Was awesome.

Thanks to my phenom husband for getting me such an incredible early Christmas present.

Owl City AND The Fray!

Owl City's Adam Young is totally that geeky, amazing kid you were friends with in high school. Very awkward, but so cool, it matters not a whit.

The Fray was incredible. I really got lost in the moment and just wandered through the hallways of the music in my mind, swaying and rockin' out.

Cobra Starship was a lot of fun, as well.

Jordin Sparks was lovely (I was totally drooling over her dress, btw; I want a stylist to make me look that good! ). I'm not an "American Idol" watcher if I can help it,* but she definitely is a tribute to the show's success.

Justin Bieber is apparently the child heart throb of the moment. Good thing S was wearing ear plugs. His ear drums might have exploded from the t/ween uproar. I loved it, though. I remember what it's like to be totally *in love* with the boy-of-the-moment on the cover of "Tiger Beat" -- or whatever the t/ween mag of choice is these days. Hang on a sec. Lemme put in my dentures, before I continue! However? I felt a little like a dirty old woman, watching this young kid prance around in pants so tight, he could have been mistaken for the male lead in "The Nutcracker." But otherwise, not horrific, by any means *L* I recognized his radio hit though previously I thought it was by a woman, but hey ... I felt the same about Justin Timberlake's first solo album ... gotta love mainstream's obsession with boys who sound like girls!

We left after the final artist, Pitbull, started. I pride myself on being open to new musicians, but he just doesn't do anything for me. Ya know?

All in all. Great, fun night of music with S. I haven't been to a "mainstream" concert in quite awhile, and while I'm older than the demographic, I can still scream with the best of 'em *LOl*


* My friend is a reality TV junkie, and often when I am visiting, I'm sort of trapped into watching far more of it than I personally care to. I've even been rude and protested once or twice. But my somewhat-polite-occasionally-acerbic cries go unheeded ;) C'est la vie.

This past weekend I finally finished "Midnight Never Come" (Onyx Court, Book 1??) by Marie Brennan.

I'm completely unsure whether I should try to review it, as it seems unfair to the author ... seeing as how I'm not particularly big on fantasy or historical fiction (take a wild stab at what this book's hybrid taps). Oh, or fictional politics. Don't love those, either. So ... yeah ...

Got this book free at last year's FaeriCon, and thought it might be a good way to get into the spirit before this year's event. But lawd did this thing drag for me. I spilled hot cocoa on it a few chapters in, and I should've taken the hint and put it down for good. Towards the end, I really did want to know what happened. But, not enough that it was worthwhile. Especially since the ending was semi-canned. In my opinion.

Basically, it's about Elizabethan London, and Elizabethan Faerie London. Their ruling queens. Their politics. Their pacts. Etc.

Not me at all. I tried. I really did. And I finished. But it took me forever, and now I've barely touched my book club pick for this/last month. In order for me to love fantasy, it needs a proper anchor in reality. And when that reality is decades and continents away? Dressed in doublets and spouting wanna-be Shakesperean-ese while drinking ale and talking to brownies? I'm just not able to get there. I'm sorry. As I said ... I tried ...

I get 2 this year. How lucky am I? Very.

I find it hysterical that S's parents are going to meet the parents' of his sister's boyfriend, though. I can't help it. They've only been together a few months. I think it's super sweet that she wants them to meet. And I'm extremely happy she's found someone with whom she feels happy, and safe, and loved. It's just that the meetup idea is so alien to me. S's parents and mine didn't formally sit down to dinner/conversation until after we got engaged ... after we'd been together 8 years? 9 years? *LOl*

And I was biting my nails the entire lead-up. And during. And, heck, AFTER!

I love my husband. And his family. But I'm still completely unaccustomed to how everything is done. My family is just so incredibly different. Not in a good or bad way. Just different. And no matter how hard I try, I never seem to fully acclimate to C-family gatherings. And I think that's ok :) At least I hope it is. S feels the same about my family's gatherings. And it doesn't make my parents or bro love him any less ;)

This Thanksgiving, as with every day, I am thankful for life as I know it. It's such a blessing. Every nook and cranny. Even the bits that drive me bonkers are worth my gratitude ... b/c that which does not kill us makes us stronger, no?

In other news, Kelly O. has influenced my stomach, which currently houses the remnants of a burger. Oh greasy goodness, you please me so! I'm going to be 4,000 lbs before this life is through. Do they make tall pants for that size? Or should I just invest in a lot of dresses ...

Happy Thanksgiving to one and all!!

I'm really not a fan of the fact that being a non-germaphobe makes me a freak. Seriously, people? Ugh.

I touch public door handles. With my bare hands, even. And I'm not dead! Not even so much as sniffling. And I touch them EVERY day. LOTS of times. Ooooooooo. Run and hide! I haz germzzzzz!

Bah.

In other news, I'm once again reminded that not everyone is as independent of their men as I am. I love my husband. VERY much. He's awesome and I'm grateful for him each and every day. However? When I am out with friends, I am out with friends. I've been this way since the beginning, so don't give me any malarkey about young love vs our more-seasoned one ;) It's important to have a life independent of your SO. It makes you appreciate them all the more the next you see them. I mean it!!

And PS? I sure as hell don't need a male to escort me to the train station. I don't care if I'm wearing a skirt, I am NOT afraid of my city. I can walk myself to the station. And I don't need mace or martial arts skills to do it. Sheesh.

Life is not to be feared. It is to be lived! Be in the moment. Relish it. Gobble it down whole, not worrying if it's high fiber enough to pass through without the aid of some pill or other. Double sheesh.

Ok, I'm done now. Hey, it's been awhile. What did you expect??

A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
I’ve put off really “reviewing” this book … mainly because I can’t come to a solid conclusion on how I feel about it.

I’ve definitely decided not to pick up anything else by this author.

But that’s not to say I abhorred the book. It was just … well … let’s just say if I wanted lame humor and sarcasm, I’d simply open up my own noggin and scoop it out from there.

That being said, it was a cute storyline. Basically, Joe Schmoe loser (aka, Charlie Asher) suddenly finds out he’s a reaper when his wife dies and leaves him with a newborn who has … special powers. Lily, his creepy-goth-psycho employee steals his guidebook to all things reaping (á la “Beetlejuice”), so he screws up and brings upon San Fran the wrath of the Morrígan (Irish mythos) and Orcus (Roman mythos).

The most interesting characters are Sophie, the daughter, and the 2 toaster-devouring hellhounds. Other characters include: fellow reaper Minty Fresh (giant black dude in a mint green suit); Audrey, the Buddhist soul stealer/mover who, herself, has no soul (go fig?); Ray, a pervy, paranoid ex-cop with a penchant for desperate Asian women online; Jane, Charlie’s Armani-suit-clad lesbian sister; and a whole hoard of piecemeal creatures in medieval garb (think squirrel heads and lizard bodies in ballgowns *ew*).

Not a bad book. But not anything I’d be inclined to repeat. Amusing. And fairly quick. Oddly enough, this bookclub pick was mine! I thought it’d be fun for Halloween, and the author came highly recommended by my SiL’s bookclub. But, it just didn’t grab me. There was never a moment of “can’t put this book down.” In fact, more often than not, I didn’t bother to pick it up. It took me a whole month to finish. I’m really glad I didn’t read “Lamb” …

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Open note to Tass: Please, for the love of biscuits, stop eating my socks and underwear!

Open note to readers: If you happen to see a good sale on socks and undies, can you hook a sister up? Give me a ring!

*sigh*

and

*grr*

and

:-P

I want to adopt Nyla!!

I would put money on this beautiful girl being Tass's mom. *sniff*

I really hope she finds a good forever home ...

Saw "The Invention of Lying."

And I was disturbed *L*

I pride myself on trying to tell the truth as much as humanly possible. I will find a way to spin something so perhaps I may omit, but not lie.

But this movie ...

It just turned everything on its ear. I mean, I never thought of writing fiction as lying. And it is. Totally. *sniff*

The people are brutal. It's not just the truth, but the WHOLE truth. No omissions. Ever. So far beyond TMI as to be painful, in a "Three's Company" kinda way.

Amusingly enough, PC (as in the PC vs Mac commercials where PC is a middle-aged balding dude in a suit and Mac is a hip pseudo-metro-sexual), has a small cameo :)

I liked it. But it still disturbed me :-P

*Said by Silly Stupid Human #432 when asking questions regarding the Big Man in the Sky.

Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger


My rating: 4 of 5 stars

In truth, I am sad this book has ended. Picking it up, those first few pages … it was like reconnecting with a long-lost, much-beloved friend.

The story revolves around the twisted bonds of family and twin-ship, love, and grief. The author sends the reader careening between storylines of elder twins vs. younger twins. A generation apart, they reflect each other, opposing and reconnecting in ways that are beautiful and yet perverse.

I spent a lot of time with this book, savoring the chapters, so as to avoid an end. And, admittedly, perhaps for this reason, the ending did disappoint on a few levels. But the book, in itself, did not.

Niffenegger weaves a strong tale, as surreal as it is base. Many thanks to arcadian72, who loaned me her advance copy to sate my unimaginable impatience :)

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Went with Kris to Haunted Poe Saturday night *L* The energy level was a little lower, which made me a touch sad. But, let's face it, my first experience was opening night, and we were the last show of the evening. We got that burst of, We made it through the first night! Let's really scare the cr-p outta these folks and party! I know this feeling from my own shows and haunted houses ;)

By Saturday, they'd already done probably 40 shows!

But, regardless, it was still phenomenal. Kris seemed to dig it. I'm more than happy to go again, if y'all need a partner in crime!

Was going to post a book review, but www.goodreads.com is down. Boo. Maybe later.

Onward with the mundaize.

P.S. - For some this will not be of any matter, BUT the location of Haunted Poe is right beside a JoMar ... ya know, if you want to get fabric and then enjoy some Poe goodness ;)

Haunted Poe was excellent. By my estimation, at least. S was not as thrilled with it as I. He likes the gorey, wet-your-pants haunted houses. He's not a huge fan of soliloquy, either.

I went through a Poe phase as every good little poser-goth does, at some point ... so it made my toes tingle. It's much more along the veins of interactive theater. Sort of an avant garde haunted house *L*

There are *boo* moments. And they got me. Natch. But the acting -- the scene -- is of far more importance than the fear factor. Which I totally dug.

I cannot say enough good things about the acting. The actors, actresses, singers ... even the ballet dancer and violinist were just incredible. True masters of the craft, in my opinion.

I love being able to walk through the theater set. I can see where, with a group of literature-phobic individuals, this haunted theater could fall flat. But if you love the works, you'll enjoy this night out.

Last night was the first night. If I get another FunSavers coupon, I'll be passing along the good will ... and likely making a return visit ;)

Than to a scrumptious scone by the Bean. Thank you for taking my late order, swiss1miss_99!!

*nom nom nom*

I absolutely love being related to a culinary genius!

Took Tass to Fisherman's Cove, in NJ. He hates car rides, and freaked out when he noticed the air spelled differently (shook like mad). The waves scared the begeesus outta him at first, as well.

But eventually he caught on that this place rocked. He romped in the ocean and played with the other dogs. We ran along the beach with him (I decided we were the anti-Baywatch *LOl*). And we walked along an odd, little trail straddling the shoreline. He was a wet, sandy dog. Yay happy puppy :)

Lovin' this fall weather. Picked up some Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale (Blue Moon seasonal) in Joisey. Weeeee!!

Yesterday was Seth's and my 4-year wedding anniversary. Much love to my wonderful, amazing, handsome, intelligent, generous, silly, wondermous husband :) It was great to get out and have a nice dinner, just the 2 of us. We had planned on going away this weekend, but after the party, we're pretty much tapped out for a bit. S'ok. Day trips are great, too!

Speaking of: The 40th anniversary shindig for the in-laws went superbly. It was nice to be able to do that for them; they seemed so happy :) I have to admit to hiding in the kitchen once or twice ... and was pleasantly surprised to find kragar00's Aunt Cathy (also married in; she's actually my favorite of the extended relatives -- I adore her :) hiding with me *L*

But everyone was smiles. swiss1miss_99 made a GORGEOUS and absolutely divinely delicious, 3-tier cake; 2 layers of lemon, 1 layer of chocolate mousse, all covered in the lightest, fluffiest buttercream you can imagine (my mouth waters at the mere memory).

There was only one moment of drama, and it seemed to pass quickly.

But people seemed happy. They left full and rosy-cheeked. And smiling, if not tired. The party lasted 7 hours. And if you count from when the first guest arrived, it was more like 8 ...

So, yay for a successful dinner party for 30!

Oh, and I had a *happy Snoopy dance* moment on Thursday when my friend K came over. It was her first time to our house, and she said, "OMG, Tass is huge!" And I looked over. Now, she's petite, I will give you that. But Tass's back was at her waist. And I thought, I DO have a big dog! *L* You tend to lose perspective when you see your pet every day ;)

I'm sure there's lots more I should update on ... but I can't think right now. And there's lots to do at work. Have a swell Thursday!

Yesterday I took time off from the DiY disasters and headed out to West Bumble- for a gathering.

The invite arrived very out-of-the-blue-ish a few weeks ago. The host and hostess are actually friends of R's, and while I get along with them, I'd never been invited out by them ... excepting, of course, the karaoke gigs the host DJs ;)

A gaggle of adults just sat around drinking fabulous sangria and eating BBQ food-type-stuffs, chatting into the evening. No reason, other than we could.

There were jell-o shots, as well. It's been a really long time since I've tried to down one of those things *L* It was perfectly relaxing and absolutely wonderful.

I go to gatherings often, but for some reason, this one really "hit the spot," so to speak. Maybe I was just really stressed by the house. Whatever the reason, I'm grateful for the timeliness of it.

Now back to my regularly scheduled program; chaos channel, anyone? *L*

My house is officially a beast.

And it. Makes. Me. Nuts.

See, we have these built-in hutches in our dining room. Our dining room used to be salmon pink and the insides of the hutches, dark maroon. We painted the room a brilliant, cool blue. But I decided to wait on the insides of the hutches, as there seemed to be many layers of paint, and I wanted to tackle the project "the right way."

Today I went at it with peel-away goop and a scraper.

And found?

1? 2? 3? Well ... possibly 4 layers of f-in' wallpaper under the paint. ARGH.

My next house will be newer. At LEAST the 1920s? *L*

This "discovering what the previous owners did" stuff is for the birds. Or the patient. Lawd that is NOT me!

Easy weekend project my @ss :-P

From now on, I'm all about the easy way, too. Scr-w the "right" way. Boo.